David Cotton
Sharing information I found helpful in my coming out journey of self discovery and acceptance.
I may offer opinions at times, but mostly want to provide resources I discovered.
Journey To A Better Life
Biography
Who is this guy?
I am passionate in creating a safe space for others to explore and claim their humanity to live in joyful authenticity. I strive to be compassionate, guided by integrity and living authentically.
My life experience provides me unique perspectives. I'm a father, a brother, a son. In my career I am a retired US Air Force brigadier general, a former senior executive in the Department of Defense, a corporate vice president, a consultant, and a life coach.
Outside of the professional areas of my life I serve as an officer and on the board of directors for
the First Friday Breakfast Club charity providing scholarships to high school students advocating for equality and inclusion in their local communities. I am active in the ManKind Project where men gather in "peer-facilitated men's groups and supports men in leading lives of integrity, authenticity, and service."
I consider myself more spiritual than religious, guided by the Serenity Prayer.
Grant me the Serenity to
Accept the things I cannot change, the
Courage to change the things I can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference.
Health, fitness, and mindfulness integral to my daily existence. I enjoy working out, yoga, running, hiking, and cycling.
David Cotton
Podcasts Where I Tell My Story
graying rainbows: coming out later in life lgbt+
To get to know more about me, you can listen to Episode 50 of the podcast, Graying Rainbows: Coming Out Later in Life LGBT+, hosted by Dr. Ginger Campbell.
the vulnerable man podcast
Christopher Veal’s podcast, The Vulnerable Man, Episode 56, sharing my story related to being a vulnerable man, where I see this as a strength and not a weakness.
Resources
Most Entries Have a Click Link
Coming Out
- Frankly My Dear I’m Gay: A Late Bloomers Guide To Coming Out – Rick Clemons – https://www.rickclemons.com
- Coming Out: I Think I’m Gay ~ The Ultimate Guide to Self-Acceptance, Coming Out, Building a Support System, and Loving Your New Life ~ ( How to Come Out of the Closet ) – Kevin Brison
- Married Men Coming Out: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming the Man You Were Born to Be – David Christel
- Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight – Dr Loren A. Olson, MD, https://www.lorenaolson.com/
- Fashionably Late: Gay, Bi, and Trans Men Who Came Out Later in Life – edited by Vinney Kineslla
- Our Family Outing: A Memoir of Coming Out and Coming Through – Dr. Joe Cobb
Spouse & Family Perspective
- My Husband Is Gay: A Woman’s Guide to Surviving the Crisis – Carol Crever
- The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families – Amity Peirce Buxton
- Over the Cliff: Gay Husbands in Straight Marriages – Bonnie Kaye and Doug Dittmer
- When Your Spouse Comes Out: A Straight Mate’s Recovery Manual (Haworth Series in GLBT Family Studies (GLBTFS)) – Carol Grever
- Is My Husband Gay, Straight, or Bi?: A Guide for Women Concerned about Their Men? – Dr. Joe Kort
- Facing A Mixed-Orientation Marriage with Gratitude and Hope
LGBTQ History & Perspective
Personal Development
- Daring Greatly – Brené Brown
- Rising Strong – Brené Brown
- The ManKind Project - a passionate and purpose-driven brotherhood building and supporting the emotionally mature, accountable, and compassionate male role models that our communities so desperately need
Podcasts, Audio, & Video Stories
- Graying Rainbows – Coming Out LGBT+ Later in Life – podcast - Dr. Ginger Campbell
- To get to know more about me, you can listen to Episode 50 of the podcast, Graying Rainbows: Coming Out Later in Life LGBT+.
- Making Gay History by Eric Marcus – podcast: powerful stories for the struggles for equality and recognition
- Listen to Richard Rohr — Growing Up Men from On Being with Krista Tippett
- Life Un-Closeted by Rick Clemons (originally The Coming Out Lounge)
- He Said, She Said: The Art of Coming Out and Being a Late Bloomer: The Coming Out Lounge
- I’m From Driftwood | The LGBTQIA+ Story Archive: Coming Out Later in Life
- Choosing Gratitude and Hope | Matt Nightingale and Luanne Nightingale | TEDxSonomaCounty
- State of Pride: Fifty years after the Stonewall uprising, Oscar®-winning filmmakers Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman and host Raymond Braun travel to three diverse communities – Salt Lake City, San Francisco, and Tuscaloosa, Alabama – for an unflinching look at LGBTQ Pride, from the perspective of a younger generation for whom it still has personal urgency.
Groups & Organizations
- Husbands Out to Wives (HOW)
- First Friday Breakfast Club - Des Moines IA: helps men in the coming out process; also a 501(c)(3) charity providing scholarship to graduating high school seniors for post-secondary education
- Prime Timers World Wide: social organization for mature gay/bi gentlemen
- SAGE In Support of Coming Out: Support Groups for OIder Adults
- SAGE | Advocacy & Services for LGBTQ+ Elders
National Coming Out Day
October 11, 2020
Dear Friends and Family:
On this day, National Coming Out Day, I stand in solidarity with others taking this bold and important step in their lives. For some this is their first time to publicly embrace who they are, for others a reaffirmation in support of those that may follow their example in the future. For me, it is the former.
During the past two years I have experienced the power of vulnerability and the love that may result, and some pain. Vulnerability requires honesty and integrity, two attributes of human character I hold in high esteem. I always felt I was in integrity with myself, when in fact for the majority of my life I was out of integrity, not being fully honest nor true with myself. I never acted to deceive. I eventually reached a point where I could no longer live with this disconnect in my character. Society, culture, my chosen profession, all the excuse for keeping the authentic me repressed.
In February of 2019 I finally admitted to myself I am a gay man. In the long run, for me to best serve myself and others I had to accept who I am and not how I thought society expected me to be. This did not come without consequences. However, I am continually surprised by the love and support that has also been the result. I no longer suffer from the depression that I also hid.
My journey is still at its beginning with each day being a new crossroads. The family I still deeply love remains strong and has a been described as all being from the same root ball, each growing in the direction it needs to blossom and flourish.
At my core I am the same man I have always been; I have the same love for my family in my many roles in life…father, brother, friend…now I no longer live with fear, doubt and pain. My vulnerability has already been an example for others to address challenges in their life. While not my intention, I’m honored if expressing my truth can be an inspiration to others working through issues in their lives.
I am not seeking validation nor praise. I am asking for your awareness of the differences and prejudices that still exist in our society and how we need to create an environment where everyone can be free to live without fear of ridicule or prejudice.
David Cotton
#NationalComingOutDay
